Divorce can feel like the ground is shifting beneath you. It’s emotional, exhausting, and full of unknowns. And if you’re a parent, you’re not just navigating your own storm—you’re trying to protect your kids from being swept up in it, too. Supporting your children through divorce is incredibly hard. 

You’re not alone. This is hard—I’m now three years into my separation and divorce and there are still challenging days. 

Co-parenting with a high conflict individual has a way of pulling you into a relentless cycle of negativity. It seeps into every corner of your life—consuming hours of “problem-solving,” driving endless research, and even shaping the conversations you have with friends. Let’s not forget the imaginary conversations you have throughout the day as you ruminate on potential comebacks or responses to their accusatory messages. Before you know it, it’s dominating your thoughts.

“We need to be on the same page about everything so the kids don’t get confused.”

On the surface, it sounds logical, even responsible. If both parents tell one clean, unified story about why the family is changing, the kids will feel secure, right?

Here’s the problem: life isn’t clean, and divorce definitely isn’t.

Forcing one “approved” story often backfires. It sends the message there’s only one “right” way to see what happened, which leaves kids wondering if their own feelings or questions are wrong. It teaches them to edit themselves or stay quiet so they don’t upset either parent.